All you need is trust and a little bit of pixie dust – Peter Pan

I was inspired once again while watching, of all things, the movie Finding Neverland.  

Johnny Depp plays renowned novelist and playwright J.M. Barrie, the creator of Peter Pan.  Mr. Barrie found his inspiration for the now infamous tale through a family of 4 boys that he met randomly one day in the park.  Throughout the movie, he tells the boys that you will never make your dreams become reality unless you truly believe it will happen and envisioning them coming true.

“It's not going to work if no one believes in him”

"He imagines life the way he wants it to be, and he believes in it long enough and hard enough, that it all appears before him"

"He just believes”

J.M. Barrie was quite accomplished in his day, despite his modest upbringing and his decision to pursue a career in literature, and much to the chagrin of his parents who wanted him to become a minister.

Score one more in favour of the powers of positive thinking :)

Now if I could just apply this philosophy to the other aspects of my life, I'd be all set.  Its working wonders for my career, however certain areas of my personal life are still lagging behind.

While I'm thrilled that I finally lost those elusive last 5 pounds, I'm not completely happy with the way I look, and more importantly the way I feel.  I still ride that diet and fitness roller-coaster, however now it’s a weekly ride as opposed to week long or month long bouts.  Progress ???

My weight loss is small but noticeable; I've had several clients and coworkers comment on it - and trust me, they're a tough crowd.  But I'm still not happy :(  Then again, I'm a woman … are we ever happy?

I sense some New Year's resolutions on the horizon, though as I pointed out last year, I typically don't do very well with a Band Aid solution to a lifelong problem.  And last year I proved myself right as I failed yet again to complete the tasks at hand.  I guess I did eventually, but nowhere near according to plan.

Each and every day I notice the commitment and dedication put forth by my fellow trainers, and while I feel inspired and somewhat awestruck, I still hear those rumblings in my head; how I could never do what they do, could never be that discipline, could never be THAT fit. 

Never is an ugly word :(

But 2012 will be different !!  Armed with my new-found knowledge on deliberate creation and the secret to success, I hope to incorporate these values into my physical and emotional beings; the intellectual being is already in a pretty good place ;)

The plan is not to lose any weight per se, but to actually be fit and healthy.  I still have zero control over food, and I still think about it nearly every second of every day.  These past few days have been a holiday food and booze free-for-all, and I feel utterly disgusted with myself.  And again, it’s not merely a matter of just indulging a wee bit and enjoying the Christmas season.  I’ve eaten and drank more in the past 3 days than most people do in a week.

This ride is taking its toll on my body, and while I’m still lucky enough to bounce back fairly quickly from these binges, one has to wonder how long my luck will last.  I’m tired of constantly feeling eater’s remorse … enough is enough.

In the tale of Peter Pan, Wendy tells Hook that in order to fly, you just think happy thoughts; and they lift you into the air.  Well … that and a bit of fairy dust.  The happy thoughts I can muster, now I just need to get a hold of some of that dust.

I do believe in fairies, I do, I do.

The mind is everything. What we think we become – Buddha

Wow, it's been a while ... since I've written in my blog that is.  The good news is I've been a busy little bee. Or is it beaver?  Either way I've been busy !!

Training is going great, and the even better news is I still love my job.  I doubled my training hours from October to November, but I still have a long way to go.  Like most things in life, there are tons of opportunities out there, you just have to go out and get it.

A friend saw a memo on my Blackberry a few weeks back that I had titled "Law of Attraction".  He inquired as to the meaning so I showed him the contents of it:

Fours Steps to Deliberate Creation:

1) Identify what you DON'T want.
2) From that, identify what you DO want.
3) Get into the feeling place of what you want.
4) Expect, listen, and allow it to happen.

I thought he would laugh at me or roll his eyes back in an "oh brother" type fashion, but it turns out he's a fan of the movement, for lack of a better word.  He claims to have used it to get to where he is today, and he's doing pretty damn well for himself.

He recommended another book to me, quite possibly the bible of all self-help books ever published.  It’s called Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill.  It was written in the 30's, making it a bit of a difficult read, but I'm muddling through it as best I can.  There is an updated version referred to as the 21st-Century Edition, however I decided to purchase the original publication and read it as it was intended.

The book teaches you not only how to achieve monetary wealth, but the author claims the philosophy taught in the book can be used to help individuals succeed in all lines of work and to do or be almost anything they want in this world.

Sweet :)

It took Mr. Hill over twenty years to research the book, and the contents are based on his close association with a large number of individuals who achieved great wealth during their lifetimes.

This new (to me) book has a slightly different mantra than the one quoted above.  Rather than having the reader believe riches will flow to you simply by closing your eyes tight, wishing really hard and envisioning it happening, this author explains that you have to work hard to get what you want in life.  Duh !!

He does however, reiterate the theory that you have to think positively and truly believe it will happen in order to succeed.  Part of his intonation is as follows:

Steps for Transmuting Desire Into Reality:

1) Fix in your mind the exact amount of money you desire.  Be definite as to the amount.
2) Determine exactly what you intend to give in return for the money you desire.
3) Establish a definite date when you intend to possess the money you desire.
4) Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire, and begin at once, whether you are ready or not, to put this plan into action.

Notice the parts about giving something in return for the money, and creating and carrying out a plan ??  Perhaps it’s time to update my Blackberry memo.

He goes on to say you should write out your plan as stated above, read it out loud daily, and see and feel and believe yourself already in possession of the money.

I had begun to feel discouraged in my work :(  Yes, I was training and progressing with my work load, but quite literally at a snail's pace.  After reading just a few chapters, my outlook started to change.  I think I just needed a quick reminder, something to help me refocus my energies and correct my diminishing attitude.  What I needed was a good swift kick in the butt - no more woolgathering for me !!

With a shift in my mindset my clientele grew, as did my disposition.  And perhaps the best news of all is I'm feeling more positive and enthusiastic about my career prospects than ever before.  I have a new plan of attack, and I didn't even wait to jump on the resolution bandwagon.

To quote another famous Napoleon, Bonaparte that is ... "He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat".

I will not let fear defeat me ... the only thing I fear is spiders ;-)

The frontier between hell and heaven is only the difference between two ways of looking at things - George Bernard Shaw

At the risk of alienating some of my friends that may read this post and are guilty of the forthcoming abominations, I feel the need to blog about certain obstacles that I continually encounter in my quest for finding my inner peace … my Zen … my Yin and my Yang !!

I’m referring of course to diet and exercise, and my constant, constant battle with these elements every single day of my life.

Do you ever find when you are trying to make improvements in your life, or make yourself a better person in some way, shape or form, that there are always people out there ... and interestingly enough your friends, that try and sabotage your efforts?

I can't tell you how many times I've been trying to make plans with someone, and while arranging our schedules around my workout, they say to me "just skip it".  Or when I say no if offered a tempting yet fattening treat, they say "oh c'mon, you can afford it".  Are these people really trying to help me, or are they secretly trying to make me fail?

I hear it all the time; people telling me that I look great and I don't need to worry so much about diet and exercise, and while I appreciate their encouragement and support, I actually get a little bit angry when I hear these comments.

While their sentiments are nice, ultimately how they see me doesn't really matter in the long run.  I’m sorry, I know that sounds cold and callous, but it's true.  And if you ask me, that’s a healthier way to think.  I shouldn't be basing my efforts in life or even my overall happiness for that matter on how others perceive me; I need to be happy with myself.  Bottom line.

While certain others perceive me as fit or even skinny, I don't see that at all.  Yes, I'm aware that sometimes there is a sickness of the mind, where your own vision is distorted and that we are all much harsher on ourselves than others, but I know right now this is not the case.  Just one short year ago I was VERY happy with how I looked and had no problem with what I saw in the mirror.  And no offense to those people who tell me I look great, but they haven't seen me naked.

I want that image back again so badly it hurts :(

But while I want it so desperately, I honestly don't know if I have what it takes to get there.  I feel like I'm in diet purgatory; I know what I must do to get where I want to be, but not only do I feel I'm lacking the oomph, I also don't think I have the desire.  I don't want to have the perfect diet where I rarely, if ever allow myself to enjoy all the pleasures good food and drink have to offer.  My way is much more fun :)

Back last fall while contemplating my career change, I commented how fitness and good nutrition don’t come naturally to me, and now that I’m surrounded by others who do this for a living, I’ve confirmed my suspicions.  I watch these people daily and observe how healthy eating and regular exercise are just a part of their lives, like they don't even have to think about it.  I hardly think they have this never ending battle going on inside their heads, weighing out the pros and cons of every little morsel that passes their lips, then beating themselves up with guilt after they've made the "wrong" decision.

Perhaps my anger towards my sabotaging friends is really a deflection; I'm angry because when they tell me to skip the workouts or indulge in the evil yet delicious foods, I really really REALLY want to do just that.

Heaven help me.

What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do - John Ruskin

It seems I've been bitten by the lazy bug again.  A thick blanket of dust has started to settle on my Nutrition textbook, as it did on my Personal Training text a few short months ago.

Part of it is sheer laziness; I got into the habit of studying in the evenings, and even when I worked floors shifts only at my new job.  However most nights now I have training clients, which of course is wonderful and the whole point of it all.  But the training has distracted me from studying, and that’s not so wonderful.

Habits can be a gawd awful thing, especially when those habits are bad ones.  Those seem to be the hardest ones to break though don't they?  Why is that ??  Perhaps because the bad ones are usually the most fun ;)

So I need to find a way out of the habit of not studying, if that makes any sense. I started by taking my books out of my locker at work where they had made their permanent home, and brought them to my actual home. However they remain there today, still in my knapsack, waiting to escape their canvas entrapment.

I suppose part of my elusiveness is that I'm working now, doing what I set out to do, so putting the remainder of my studies on the back burner comes easier to me.  There's no sense of urgency to get this next course completed.  My only motivation at the moment is not to waste the money I spent on the course, which had to be paid up front.  Well that and my general desire to earn my Nutrition Certification and expand my knowledge and job opportunities of course, which was also part of the original plan.

Everything else is going quite well and according to plan.  I completed a 12 week, 10K running training program the week before last, took one week of rest (from the running only, not from training entirely), and today I started up again.  The first program was a beginner plan, and I completed 202 miles of the 215 that were required.  Now I've signed up for the intermediate program which slates 274 miles over the 12 week period.  I love, love, love the running; the only challenge I’ve encountered is getting in weight training in addition to running.  And I do not want to give up one in favour of the other.  Some days require me to run 6-10 miles, which takes me an hour or more, so trying to squeeze in even 1/2 hour more of gym time can be quite challenging.

But hey, that’s me, I like a challenge, and running, training, working and studying should keep me sufficiently busy for the next little while.  If I don't have a number of things like this going on in my life I'd be bored to tears.  I'm not much of a TV whore, so I gotta fill my time somehow.  It's a good thing golf season is nearing its end ... but then of course hockey season starts so that should make things fun :)

And the "diet" is also going quite well.  I'm not following the proposed plan very closely, but just putting the guidelines in my head have helped me clean up my act.  I only lost 1 1/2 pounds in the first two weeks, but I feel a helluva lot better, and more importantly I'm not obsessing about it.

Progress makes perfect :)

To Carb, or Not to Carb, That is the Question

So I sorta, kinda found a diet plan to follow ... maybe. I actually started it Monday and must admit after just 5 days of clean eating I'm feeling a million times better already.  I say kinda because I'm not following it to a tee, but more on that later.  And despite some heartfelt and most likely wise advise NOT to diet from some friends and family in response to my last blog, I’m still gonna give it a go.

The plan is one that comes with a new workout craze that's out in the market of late called Insanity. If anyone stays up watching late night infomercials on t.v. you'll know what I'm referring to; it's also the successor of P90X, another very popular workout series from a few years back.

I must admit when I first heard of this workout and its accompanying meal plan, I assumed that it would be a waste of my time ... extremely low cal, low or no carb, and super restrictive in terms of choices and variety. Well I ended up eating my own words. It's actually, IMHO, a pretty damn good plan.

It has you calculate the required amount of calories to eat per day based on something called the Harris Benedict equation, the very same equation that my nutrition book recommends as a means for healthy eating.  The formula first calculates your Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR), the number of calories you would burn at rest; just to live and breathe. It then factors in daily activity, resulting in a number that represents how many calories you should consume daily to maintain your current weight, based on your current level of physical activity.  Then to gain or lose weight you simply add or subtract from this number.  It also recommends doing this by no more than 500 calories, which would result in a gain or loss of one pound per week.  500 x 7 days per week = 3500 calories, the equivalent of one pound. Yes, it's still ALWAYS about the numbers ;)

Other than the fact that it allows a safe and effective amount of calories that won't leave you feeling deprived and/or starving, I like it because there's lots of variety (there are over 50 recommended meals included), it has you eating 5 or more times a day (woot woot !!), and most of all it includes plenty of carbs !!

So to address the title to my post today, to carb or not to carb, my answer is abso-fucking-lutely :)

I do now, and always have, and always will, eat carbs.  And here’s why ...

* the body needs carbs - it's our primary source of energy for working out, and for basic everyday living

* carbs do not make you fat

* carbs are not the enemy

* I love my carbs :)

* and last but not least ... CARBS DO NOT MAKE YOU FAT !!

I really don't want to get in to all the technical aspects of it, but please please please trust me on this one. This is actual fact, not information from some journalist, or a "doctor" with a PhD in horticulture that decided to get on the multiple-million dollar diet bandwagon by taking advantage of the latest fad and writing a diet book, thereby getting rich off millions of desperate hopefuls looking for a miracle cure.

The bottom line is you get fat by exercising too little and eating too much, of anything !!  Anyone who loses weight on a low carb or no carb diet does so because by limiting or restricting carbs they are by default reducing their caloric intake. Period.

Yes yes, there are "bad carbs" out there that we should try and avoid, or at least minimize. Cakes, pies, sweets, donuts and all those other sugary sweet treats that most people tend to crave. However not all carbs fall into this category and the rest of them are not only part of a healthy, balanced diet, they are 100% completely necessary in your diet. Whole grains, fruits, veggies, brown rice and pasta; for god’s sake people please eat and enjoy these wonderfully delicious and nutritious foods.

That being said, it’s even okay to eat those bad, evil carbs now and again (white bread and white rice ... OH THE HORROR !!!).  Eating them in moderation won't kill you or make you fat. Deprivation never works in the long run, trust me on this one.  You know how many times I've heard people say "I'm gonna do that (insert the name of a low carb diet here) again, it really worked the first time"?  If it really worked the first time, why do you need to do it again ?!?!

So that's why I said in my first paragraph that I'm not following this new diet to a tee. I'm following the general guidelines and have used several of their meal suggestions this week, but even then not 100% of the time. If I go out with friends or to a party or event, I will enjoy said event and not think about restricting my food or alcohol intake. I mostly just need to keep that in check. No stopping off at 7-Eleven to load up on junk food on my way home :(  No more 3, 4 or 5 day binges of eating everything in site until I’m nearly ready to puke.

OK maybe not never, but not nearly as often ;-)