I've lost my inspiration again :( I swear it's these damn mood swings. If it weren't for the warnings of my former boss (not the mofo who fired me but the one before that), I'd swear it was hormonal. It's getting tiring to be honest with you.
I haven't opened either textbook in over a week, and although I wake up each morning with studying high on my to-do list, I quickly fill my day with other mundane tasks and before you know it the day is done and the dust on my books start to thicken. I find myself attending to tasks I normally hate; housework, yard work ... I even cleaned out my garage this weekend - anything to escape the monotony of studying.
And it's not that I don't like the material, to be honest I've been enjoying the reading and find it fascinating so far. Perhaps it's just that overwhelming feeling of knowing what lies ahead. When I relate it to dieting, which seems appropriate, I recall how it felt when I was at my fattest, and knowing what my goals were at the time. I knew I wanted to lose about 30 pounds, and that seemed like such an insurmountable task. I can't even imagine how someone who has to lose 100 pounds or more must feel, knowing they have such a long, hard road in front of them.
However 2 years ago when I started on my weight loss journey, I found the strength and drive to persevere, so I'm hoping I can do the same now. I remember at the time wondering what it is that clicks inside a person to help you finally succeed. How many times do we start a task or journey only to stumble and fall? Then suddenly one day we try yet again, but for some strange reason, this time it works. If I could figure out that great mystery in life and bottle it, I'm sure I could retire tomorrow.
I'm also feeling depressed again. It brings to mind a variation on the classic chicken and egg dilemma ... is my depression causing me to slack in my studies, or is my lack of enthusiasm causing my depression? Either way I keep going back and forth into this funk. I wish it would just stop and I could be happy all the time. I've been trying to read back all the inspirational messages from my books, but so far with limited success.
On a brighter note, I have been moving forward with some of my other initiatives. I'm writing this now on my iPad, locked up in my bedroom as the painter is here and I'm without my computer for a few days. He should be done tomorrow, then the house will get a major cleaning, and then I will be ready to list; my real estate agent has been waiting patiently in the wings.
I am also conducting a bit of an experiment with regards to my workouts – let’s call it research shall we? :) I started a new exercise program last week, and to be honest, it's kicking the shit outta me. When I attended Phat Camp last month they provided us with detailed workouts and diet plans for beginner, intermediate and advanced users. Of course me and my big ego jumped right on board with the advanced program … 5 days a week of weight training, working a different body part each day for nearly an hour, plus 6 full days of one hour cardio training. I'm in the gym for 2 solid hours, 5 days a week, plus one full hour on the 6th day. I get one day a week off for rest. Good thing I'm not working !! But it's just a 4 week program so I thought I'd give it a shot as the timing is perfect. Spending 2 hours in the gym almost daily is not an easy task when you're working full-time, and November is the perfect month, no holidays or special events to get in the way.
I refuse however, to follow the diet that came with the program. For starters ... BORING !!! There are two meal plans, one you follow for the first two weeks and one for the second two weeks. But each of those plans is the same diet each and every day for two full weeks. Kill me, kill me now. This is one area where I refuse to compromise. If I were trying to train for something specific or some sort of competition then maybe I could painfully follow along for a brief period of time. Or perhaps that's why I don't train or compete ?!?! But besides being boring, it's way too restrictive, and I think we all know how I feel about that. Very little carbs, protein shakes, no alcohol (good freaking lord !!), and one cheat meal per week. But get this … their recommended cheat meals are things like chicken fajitas with brown rice and a small dessert, or a salmon wrap with veggies and a small dessert. Honey that ain't a cheat meal, that's everyday eating for me. If you wanna see my idea of a cheat meal, read my last blog entry :D
Anyway, I'll stick to my regular eating habits and just follow the suggested training plans and see where that gets me.
My biggest experiment however is with supplements. They gave us free samples of some of the product they sell at Phat Camp, so I ordered a couple to give them a try. I say it's an experiment because normally I don't take any supplements, ever. Been there, done that. I do firmly believe if you exercise regularly and eat a pretty clean diet with lots of variety, you don't need to supplement. However I figured if I want to become a nutritionist, what better way to advise my clients than through experience rather than just assumption.
I didn't go overboard or anything, no crazy miracle fat burner pills or anything like that, I just bought two simple and natural products. One is a powder you mix with water and drink just prior to your workout. It's supposed to provide energy and mental focus to get you through the tough workouts ahead, and man are they tough. The second product is also a powder that you sip during your workout, and it's supposed to help with recovery. It claims to do a lot more too, stuff I won't bore you with that's more at the cellular level, but recovery is the one that should be obvious to me immediately. In other words, I won't be as tired or sore after my workout.
I've taken both as recommended for one full week now, and so far the verdict is not good. I still need to drag my ass to the gym and fight my way through every minute of my now 2 hour long workout, and when I'm done my workout I'm thoroughly exhausted. I'm not sure if it's all in the attitude, my sister bought the same recovery drink and swears after her boot camp class she felt great when she usually feels completely beat up, but I can honestly say I haven't noticed a difference. And all these other claims they make that does stuff at the cellular level? Well that's the problem with those types of claims; there really is no way to prove if they deliver. If I can stick with the program for the full 4 weeks it's almost guaranteed I will see some changes in my body, but are those changes because of the supplements or because I ramped up my routine big time?
Which brings us back to that familiar dilemma. So what did come first, the chicken or the egg ???
No comments:
Post a Comment