Life has no limitations, except the ones you make - Les Brown

I’ve been thinking a lot about success lately.  Coincidentally someone asked me the other day for my definition of success.  I didn’t even hesitate before I blurted out my answer.  Success is different for everyone.  For one person it might be about money; their security comes from having a big bank roll and the prestige that comes along with it.  And don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking that.  If that’s how you define success and that’s what drives you in life, more power to you.

I think it’s pretty obvious by now that’s not my definition of success.  My answer to my friend’s question was that to me success means happiness.  We’ve all heard the old adage that money can’t buy happiness, and while I still am a regular lottery player and I actually dream of winning the big one, I now do believe this saying to be true … I didn't always.  And while money certainly helps, I still can’t ever imagine that being my driving force in life.

I did hear a cute saying the other day though ... whoever said money can't buy happiness, doesn't know where to shop ;)

However the reality is I must work for a living.  So if I can get up every morning and go to a job that I love, leave each day with a sense of accomplishment, while at the same time making a decent living so I can enjoy life, then I consider myself a successful person.

I guess the reason I've been pondering success lately is because suddenly I find myself in that oh-so-familiar funk again. I can't quite pinpoint my mood, but the best way to describe it is restlessness. In the past several weeks I'm lucky if I've managed 3 hours of sleep a night, sometimes less. It's really starting to piss me off.  I'm lying on the couch barely able to keep my eyes open some nights, but the minute I go to bed and lay my head on my pillow, I'm wide awake again.  I've taken all the steps the so-called experts say to help induce sleep - no tv or reading in the bedroom, no caffeine in the evenings; I even got some curtains and have blocked out my glorious view to darken my room at night.  Nothing seems to work.

The only difference now is my sleepless nights are not stress induced. Previously I would stay awake in fear, worrying about money and my future, but those worries don't exist in my life anymore.  I rid myself of my money woes, and I'm very confident in my future :)  My mind is definitely racing, but it's more happy, fun thoughts, fantasies even.  Don't worry, I won’t go into details … it's not that type of blog !!  The point is I have a very hard time shutting my brain off long enough to get some sleep.

One thing I know for sure, and perhaps this is a clue to my disquietude, is that I have not been able to get back into a routine of regular exercise and healthy eating.  I put on a few pounds over the holidays, but rather than using the holidays as an excuse, I used the hustle and bustle of my move as reasons for my slacking off.  I suppose if I'd been working full time AND performing the multitude of tasks required to relocate, this might have been a valid excuse. But we all know that ain't the case.  And even if it were, I've been fully settled into my new home for some time now, so my old excuses no longer fly.

Normally this wouldn't be that big a deal, it's not like I put all my weight back on and sit around the house Peggy-Bundy-style eating Bonbons all day. Right now I feel I'm about 5 pounds over weight, and I'm not feeling as toned and fit as I'd like to be.  I still eat pretty well most of the time, although I've been indulging a bit more than I should lately.   And I've still been going to the gym, just not regularly enough. I'm halfway there, and this lifestyle has proven to be good for maintaining my current weight and shape.  But maintenance is not my current goal.

I got another clue as to why this may be bothering me so much while studying today. I'm on the section of the text that teaches Program Development, and part of the material discusses keeping clients motivated and developing client goals. When the author discussed motivation, he mentioned how a trainer’s own physical condition is a billboard for their own level of expertise. How can I earn a clients' trust of my knowledge and expertise when I can't even practice what I preach ??? I certainly would never hire an unfit Personal Trainer, and I shouldn't expect my future clients to either.   The author quoted Ben Franklin as saying "the best sermon is a good example".  Amen to that !!

So perhaps as I near completion of my studies and prep myself to officially start my new career, the slow but steady return of my flabby ass and love handles are triggering an impending fear that's keeping me awake nights.

Further along in my text the author details goal setting with clients and lists specific criteria that all goals must encompass.  Among them are that goals must be written down, they must be difficult but realistic, and they must have a time line.

Shit, you know what this means don't you ??  Time for yet another one of Tina's famous lists. Oh joy.